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    正文第三百五十三章
    “林启晟先生，你知道我连续七年宅在家里没上班！我过得是什么样的苦难日子吗？？我那时得了自闭症，有三年时间就我和姥姥在京郊的家里倒还好些！总共有两三年时间我自己在家宅着猫着也还不错……可有段时间，我爸我妈姥姥和我一家四口在京郊的家里，我妈骂完，我爸再骂！我姥姥也不能拦着，毕竟我不去工作，啃老子多不要脸！我妈轻拍着她的脸，像巫婆一样说人得要脸！！我妈我爸当时也没有工作，我爸时不时在餐座吃饭时就骂！！我得等他们都吃完，我才敢出来吃口饭，我尽量躲着不出自己的卧室，有时出来就得挨骂！在屋里没有动静，有时都得被叫出去挨训一顿！就因为我不出去找工作，我承受了多少训斥和责骂……我妈为了五十块钱保健品大会的门票，因为我不去，把我逼上了绝路！我爸看到后还继续在餐桌吃饭喝酒，他吃喝很淡定，好像还在沉沉的笑着！我有时想他真的是在我小时候待我不错的亲爸吗？偶尔他像个陌生人一样，甚至仇人一样的冷酷，我怎么可能还对他好？？妈还是妈！她该给我的钱全都给了！但该给我的骂也一句不少的全都骂过了！！要不是姥姥一直在极力的护着我，她一直都没有放弃已经好像没有任何未来的我！可能那时的我就已经不在了……当时没有任何其他人愿意怜悯我和帮助我！在我极端的苦难中，我逐渐重新亮起了看穿人性的双眸……但多亏那时多苦多难都活了下来，我二十四周岁的秋冬，姥姥在老家去了一家挺好的养老院，然后我妈出国了！第二年春天我也找到了工作，一切才都慢慢好起来……又过一年，我妈的经济都大为好转！她有帮外国人采购中介的挺轻松的工作，经济状况渐渐的好了！我也开始有了一些做人的好滋味……”
    林启晟继续轻柔的摸着我的头发我的脸颊，而我也继续自说自话，说个没完。（可能我很无聊，但我就这样……）
    “想想我十八周岁到二十四周岁的这七年里，自己都很厌烦这段时间的自己！是不是就因为我是世上最贱的贱命才要过上那样悲惨贫困的艰难生活？？经历过一段时间一天只有一顿饭吃！一双阿迪的已经有裂纹的破鞋要连续穿三年！！我十九岁的时候姥爷去世，在往后六七年里，除了我姥我妈，我没有任何亲戚的一句关怀和问候！我爸说我跟任何人都断，但可曾有任何人愿意真心搭理过那时完全落难的我？？前些天我和你提过，我二十五岁的春天，我因为那天找不到工作，又没赶上末班地铁，晚上在市区的外面坐了整整一宿，虽然不冷，也没人驱逐……我那天看着夜空上满天闪耀的星星，我在心中问自己还有没有继续活下去的意义？为什么我如此才华横溢却会落魄落难至此？？为什么我童年少年时还不错的原本挺富裕的家境如今会落败到这种程度？我的命就那么不好吗？？”
    “你的命很好很好！你有我，你有……你有……你还有很多很多……”林启晟轻轻摸摸我的脸，鼓励着我。
    “可能那天满天星斗给了我终极的答案，让我逐渐解开了被自己尘封起来的栐幻时期的很多记忆，助我找回魂复真圣的自己！我开始想到好多好多栐幻情劫各个时期的故事……原来在栐幻时期曾经的我那样强大那样可怕那样狠毒那样可恶那样不可一世！！真正的我又有多么深不可测，却又一往情深！要怎样的狠心在此生把已经虚弱谦卑的自己给硬逼成了这个样子……”我无奈的伤感的哭了，躺在林启晟怀里，我的身体微微颤抖起来。
    我提到我过去的悲惨不幸，没有流下一滴眼泪，眼眶都未湿润！但提到我终于开始解封自己，我马上变得泪流满面和低声啜泣……
    一切都是为了终极的梦幻，用我第五段人生的已近极限的万般坚守和辛酸苦难，终于攒够了造物神力，一力抗起了新三幻宇宙的大为升级和坚定稳固……
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